As April marks National Financial Literacy Month, I wanted to highlight the crucial connection between financial education and regaining your footing during and after divorce. This observance feels particularly meaningful to me given my own journey.

When I graduated with my physical therapy degree two decades ago, I had a clear vision: build a career with enough flexibility to be present for my future children while still contributing professionally to my family. I carefully selected a partner who seemed to share my values of teamwork, mutual support, and balanced personal and professional aspirations.

As a young bride, I actually picked up the book "Smart Couples Finish Rich" by David Bach to read on my honeymoon—drawn in by the beachy cover and enticing me to dream of a lifetime building both a partnership and a portfolio together. I envisioned us growing not just in love but in financial security, crafting a future where our shared values would guide our financial decisions.

In those early years, I enthusiastically took on the role of what Dave Ramsey would call the financial "nerd" in our marriage. I meticulously tracked our expenses, created budgets, and developed strategies for tackling our substantial post-graduate debt. I wanted my marriage to work as a team, and I found purpose in managing our financial life with the same care I brought to other aspects of our relationship.

Like many of you, I couldn't have predicted how life would unfold.

When Life Doesn't Follow the Script

If I had possessed a crystal ball and seen myself as a single mother of four children 20 years later, I might have chosen a different career path altogether. My careful selection of a profession that would accommodate family life was based on a two-parent household—not the reality I eventually faced.

In midlife, I found myself with a career that no longer fit my family profile. As the years passed, I gradually lost the energy to manage our family finances amidst the growing burden of responsibilities, which included the exhausting work of trying to keep our marriage intact. The financial stewardship I once embraced became yet another overwhelming task in a marriage that was slowly unraveling.

Within just a few years, my annual household operating budget decreased by a staggering 80%, going from a comfortable married household income to a stretched single-parent income supplemented by child support.

While I acknowledge the privileges and blessings I have compared to many women, the financial hardships I've faced through divorce have been profound and transformative. I experienced deep grief over the loss of a financial future with a shared income, and I felt overwhelmed at the prospect of starting over. Yet paradoxically, I also discovered the freedom of a clean slate and the empowerment that comes with making autonomous, healthy financial choices aligned with my values—perhaps for the first time in my adult life.

The Unexpected Gift of Humility

One of the hardest lessons divorce taught me was the importance of asking for and accepting help. There's a unique vulnerability that comes with calling a family member to ask for assistance with your mortgage payment, or accepting a friend's offer to cover an unforeseen household expense.

This humility—this willingness to be seen in our struggle—is often the first step toward rebuilding. When we open ourselves to support, we discover strength not only in ourselves but in our communities. The shame we feel about financial insecurity begins to dissolve when we realize we're not alone.

Beyond Financial Abuse: Reclaiming Your Worth

Many clients I've worked with have experienced financial abuse in their marriages. They've been systematically cut off from financial information, gaslighted about money matters, or controlled through financial means. These women often come to me confused about what they're legally entitled to and doubtful of their own perceptions.

A significant part of my coaching involves connecting these clients with the right financial and legal professionals who can help them sort fact from fiction. There's nothing quite like watching a woman realize that the financial prison she's been living in was built on lies, and that she has options and rights her controlling partner never revealed.

Divorce as a Doorway to Financial Empowerment

Counterintuitively, divorce often becomes the catalyst for true financial empowerment. When we're forced to examine our financial realities—often for the first time—we begin to take ownership of our financial futures.

I've witnessed clients transform from women who had never paid a bill or checked a bank balance to savvy financial managers running households, starting businesses, and building investment portfolios. This transformation typically begins with one brave step: exposing our financial insecurities and asking for help.

How a Divorce Coach Creates Value

As your divorce coach, I serve as both navigator and interpreter in the complex world of divorce. Here's how our work together creates tangible value:

Reducing legal expenses:

By working with me on non-legal divorce matters, you can significantly reduce billable hours with your attorney. Many clients save thousands by handling emotional and practical matters with me rather than their legal team.

Connecting you to resources:

Whether you need a forensic accountant, mortgage broker, therapist, or childcare solution, I can connect you with vetted professionals who understand the unique challenges of divorce.

Realigning values with finances:

Together, we'll examine how your time, effort, and finances can be aligned with what truly matters to you now. This often reveals opportunities for both saving and earning that weren't visible before.

Rediscovering What Truly Matters

Perhaps the most profound lesson divorce has taught me and my clients is that the best things in life are indeed free. There's an unexpected richness that emerges when material wealth is stripped away.

Many women discover that the freedom gained—financial, relational, and personal—far outweighs what was lost. They find deeper connections with their children, authentic friendships, meaningful work, and a sense of self-determination that no amount of money could provide.

*Rediscovering value: some of our best moments in life are free.*

Your Journey Forward

Whether you're contemplating divorce, in the midst of proceedings, or rebuilding in the aftermath, remember this: you are not defined by the financial impact of your divorce. This challenge, like many others, is merely a chapter in your story—not the whole book.

The path forward involves honest assessment, strategic planning, and embracing both the vulnerability and strength that come with change. As someone who has walked this road personally and guided many others along it, I can assure you that financial renewal is possible.

With abundant love,

April: Finding your Financial Footing